Four Ways to Help Someone Who’s in Psychological Pain

It’s tough to witness someone you care about in emotional crisis. You want to help that person but aren’t quite sure how. You wonder if you should intervene or if it would be best to keep your concerns to yourself and hope that she (or he) will be able to work things out on her own. But there are ways to be of assistance without being too intrusive. 

The office of Mars & Venus Counseling Center knows how difficult life is when someone in emotional distress tries to “go it alone.” We use patience, compassion and a wide range of knowledge to help patients with psychological issues. Each patient is listened to intently and without judgment so he/she can get assistance in formulating a plan to move forward. 

Here are some ways you can help. 

Consider consulting with someone who is also close to her, such as a relative or good friend. Tell that person about your observations and concerns, and ask him (or her) if he’s also noticed that your loved one could be in distress. Invite him to share any knowledge about the situation that he has. Yes, it’s important to respect her privacy, but there comes a point where her safety takes priority. 

Have a private chat with the person. Start with, “I love and support you no matter what.” Continue by conveying that you’re not being judgmental, you are worried about her and you’re only trying to be helpful. Then describe your observations and gently invite her to respond. If she welcomes your concern, then you’re free to ask how you can help. If she “shuts you down,” you’ll know that your concern is unwanted.

Expect a degree of shame, so tread lightly. Feelings of shame often come with psychological problems and discourage people from talking about their struggles. Her embarrassment might be especially strong if she isn’t fulfilling her obligations and feels guilty about it. Pointing out her transgressions can trigger her if her psychological issues involve humiliating behaviors, such as public drunkenness or loud outbursts. 

Be mindful of your own anxiety. For example, the harsh financial consequences of her obsessive-compulsive spending may bring you anxiety about your own finances. Separate the results of her behavior from your personal fears. 

If she hasn’t rejected your advances, ask her how you can be of assistance. For example, you could encourage her to let you be a listening ear, help her find professional assistance or provide practical assistance, such as taking over some of her responsibilities so she has time to pursue treatment. 

Mars & Venus Counseling Center’s reputation for excellence is based on providing experienced and compassionate care with an unparalleled level of skill that gives our patients the best treatment results. Let’s start a conversation. Please call today to make an appointment.

By New Jersey Centers for Counseling

June 29, 2022